This is the final cut...

almostfamous17 @ 2005-04-28T15:23:00

2005-04-28T19:32:30Z

I have a new name...in 10 days i will delete this one off...so add me if you must its

only_a_kissxox

THANKS

Kisses make me weak in the knees

2005-04-24T19:55:45Z

Things are so perfect right now. i wouldnt have this any other way. I at first thought i was making a mistake about the whole situation, but once i opened my eyes and was no longer blinded by the hell i thought i was living, i fell. Fell so hard i couldnt catch my breath. Its amazing how different my life has become now that you're gone.

This morning i woke up and put my Techno Cd on the stereo and danced around the house. NAKED!! just kidding lol. But seriously, i dont have to worry about how im going to cover my scars or hide the tears. Cuz theres none.

Im sorry to anyone who tried to help me and only got pulled under in the wave of blood, tears and regret. Its over now. For now at least.

So im just sitting here, watching mike, aww...hes so cute. :) and we are going to see Meet the Fockers at like 5...and yes! I know its already out on DVD, but its more fun in the theatre. Plus, theres no nagging mother around to pester me/us.

OKay....Im out. <3

almostfamous17 @ 2005-04-20T22:38:00

2005-04-21T03:00:44Z

____Favorite____
1. gum: Juicy fruit
2. restaurant: Olive Garden
3. drink: Cherry Coke/java/margarita
4. season: summer
5. type of weather: Storms, i <3 storms
6. emotion: happy
7. thing to do on a half day: Sleep
8. late-night activity: movies
9. sport: hockey
10. city: idk
11. store: so many...Abercrombie and Fitch, Forever 21, American Eagle, Gadzooks, Aeropostale, Hollister, Hot Topic...

_____When was the last time you_____
12. cried: a few days ago
13. played a sport: tonight
14. laughed: a few hours ago
15. hugged someone: today
16. kissed someone: A few mins ago
17. felt depressed: yesterday
18. felt overworked: monday
19. faked sick: a few weeks ago
20. lied: i actually cried this morning, i stubbed my toe and it hurt like HELL

___What was the last_______
21. word you said: chandler
22. thing you ate: ice cream
23. song you listened to: All i've got-the used
24. last thing you drank: Pepsi
25. place you went to: dairy queen
26. movie you saw: sin city
27. movie you rented: closer
_______Who was the last person you_______
28. hugged?: mike
29. cried over: adam
31. danced with: chandler...lol
32. shared a secret with: chandler
33. had a sleepover with: hmm...kristen
34. called: mike
35. went to a movie with: mike and john.
36. saw: mike
36. had sex with: no one :(
37. were angry with: adam
38. couldn’t take your eyes off: mike
39. obsessed over: hmm...mike
_______Have you ever_______
40. danced in the rain: Yes
41. kissed someone: Yes
42. done drugs: ya..unfortunately
43. drank alcohol: Yes
44. partied 'til the sun came up: Yes
45. had a movie marathon: Yes
46. gone too far on a dare: yes I have
47. spun until you were immensely dizzy: yup

_______My life_______
49. name: Jaxx
50. gender: Female
51. month and date of birthday: June 14
52. relationship status: Im in one...<3
53. nationality: im a mutt
_______Play_______
55. i'm feeling: tired
56. i'm listening to: the used
57. i'm doing: talking on the computer
58. i'm talking to: your mom
59. i'm craving: :X
60. i'm thinking of: sleep
61. i'm hating: cold
_______Love_______
62. love is: crazy
63. my first love: Steve
64. my current love: Mike
65. love or lust: both i guess
66. best love song: "Everything" lifehouse
67. Possible 2be in love w/ more than one person at the same time: yea i guess
68. when love hurts: it kills
69. is there such thing as love at first sight?: yes

______Opposite/same sex_______
70. turn ons: eyes, back
71. turn offs: cockiness
72. do your parent's opinion on your gf/bf matter to you?: a lil
73. what kinda hairstyle are you into?: it doesnt matter that much
74. What is the sweetest thing a girl/guy can do for you?: im simple. i dont ask much, just to know they'll be there and know they love me
75. where do you go to meet new people?: everywhere but GRATIOT
76. are you picky: not really

_______Picky Picky_______
77. dog or cat: both
78. short or long hair: long *sniff*
79. sunshine or rain: rain
80. hugs or kisses: kiss
81. summer or winter: Summer
82. written letters or e-mails: written letters
83, nintendo or playstation: PS
84. car or motorcycle: car
85. house party or club: club
86. sing or dance: dance
87. freak or slow dance: Slow

_______Lately_______
88. How are you today? good...but muy cold
89. what pants are you wearing right now?: my bongo jeans
90. what shirt are you wearing right now? black tank top that says Give It To Me Rough, and is all ripped up...i stole it from Kristen
91. what does your hair look like at the moment: like a blond mop on my head
92. what song are you listening to right now? Blue and Yellow-the used
93. how is the weather right now? Dark and cold
94. who was last person you talked to on the phone? Mike
95. last dream i can remember? the one where mike cheated on me with angie

aahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.........B-O-R-E-D!!!!!!!

almostfamous17 @ 2005-04-19T18:23:00

2005-04-19T22:32:15Z

So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me
Off guard, red handed
Now I'm far from lonely
Asleep I still see you lying next to me
So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me I..

I need something else
Would someone please just give me
Hit me, knock me out
And let me go back to sleep
I can laugh
All I want inside I still am empty
So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me I...

I'll be just fine
Pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely
And it's all that I've got

I'll be just fine
Pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely
And it's all that I've got

I guess, I remember every glance you shot me
Un-harmed, I'm losing weight and some body heat
I squoze so hard
I stopped your heart from beating
So deep that I didn't even scream fuck me

I love this song...

almostfamous17 @ 2005-04-19T17:59:00

2005-04-19T22:08:09Z

Things couldnt get any worse...im in "that" kind of mood right now and i dont want to be alone...

How did things ever get this far?

Can you tell im bored?

2005-04-18T03:32:38Z

Thirteen random things you like
01) Starbucks
02) Movies
03) Johnny Depp
04) Shopping
05) Photography
06) Chandler
07) Parties
08) My budz
09) Flowers
10) Music
11) My perfume
12) Dancing around the house
13) Food

Twelve movies
01) Blow
02) Req for a dream
03) Pulp Fiction
04) True Romance
05) The Crow
06) Closer
07) Sin City
08) Love Actually
09) Finding Neverland
10) The Replacements
11) The Matrix
12) Cruel Intentions

Eleven good bands/artists
01) Green Day
02) Blindside
03) Linkin Park
04) Crossfade
05) Sandstorm
06) Orgy
07) Nine Inch Nails
08) Mindless Self Indulgence
09) Bright Eyes
10) Deftones
11) Shinedown

Ten things about you ... physically
01) Ghetto ass
02) Blue eyes
03) braces (ew)
04) Short hair
05) scarred up
06) circus freak sized hands
07) Blond (for now)
08) Combination skin
09) weird back
10) i <3 my lips

Nine good friends
01) Mike
02) Laurie
03) Angie
04) Colin
05) Holly
06) Bekky
07) Rachael
08) Chris
09) Bree

Eight favorite foods/drinks
01) Pita chips
02) Margaritas
03) Starbucks
04) vanilla coke
05) Hummous
06) Italian food of any kind
07) Cheesy stuff
08) Oranges

Seven things you wear daily
01) Jeans of some kind
02) Contacts
03) Bra
04) Shoes
05) Shirt (i hope)
06) Cross chain
07) expression

Six things that annoy you
01) Odor
02) Country Music
03) People who puke
04) Small children
05) People who tell stories with no freakin point
06) Nino Salvaggios

Five things you touch everyday
01) myself (not like that..LOL)
02) phone
03) Chandler
04) Other people (again...not like that)
05) hmm...stuff

Four shows you watch
01) The OC
02) Degrassi
03) Family Guy
04) Nip/Tuck

Three celebrities you have a crush on
01) Adam Brody
02) Johnny Depp
03) Paul McCoy

Two people on LJ you have kissed
01) Mike
02) you all know...so i dont tell

One person you could spend the rest of your life with:
01) Since i can barely stand to spend the rest of my life with myself, i choose chandler to stay by my side...unless someone is willing. :)

almostfamous17 @ 2005-04-16T10:13:00

2005-04-16T14:24:12Z

Sometimes i really amaze myself at my inability to make decisions. And to actually think upon them. AHhhhh...im an ass. Speaking of ass, my hair looks like it and it upsets me. Hmmm....there was no point to this...im out.

almostfamous17 @ 2005-04-14T22:41:00

2005-04-15T02:49:50Z

This is my one last chance to get it right

grind on me

2005-04-14T01:29:22Z

"Baby...grind on me"...sorry thats been stuck in my head all day

i have had wayyy too much sugar for my own good and it makes me kinda loopy

hmm...retail therapy is awesome..."its not underwear..its FUNDERWEAR!!" lol, i'm such a fag sometimes. ahh...good times. Like when i poked myself in the eye with a french fry. :)

Well, i'm gonna go dance around the house is my new fun stuff...pictures may follow ;)

i think im drowning

2005-04-13T01:59:08Z

God i'm so stressed right now. I hate this feeling. I cant sit still, cant focus, cant even think right. Time is going by so slow. The end of the year is almost here, which is a relief to some, but kind of a problem for me. I want to get out of here, i need to be out on my own. In only about 2 months, i'll be 18 (finally) and i'm sick of feeling like im 4.

...and today i was in one of those moods. That kind of mood where your skin crawls and your heart races and you feel like your sick to your stomach. That feeling i had when i used to cut. I didnt do it. So instead i just rollarbladed around, trying to clear my head. It helped alot, thankfully.

I dont know what i want. Im torn between what i used to have and what i have now. How many times do i have to screw up to get it right? i cant even screw up right.

Call me up if you want to know the details of the smackdown that occured with Paul and Adam last night. Cuz im still pretty pissed off about the whole thing, since the reason why andrew is dead i guess is my fault.

I have never had anyone make me feel so bad about myself. thanks adam.

My last session with the Dr. is this sunday, and i have copies of the letter for a few of you. Please dont hate me when you read it. Actually you dont even have to, because its a big load of nothing, you know, me feeling sorry for myself. hahaha! whatever.

thanks to angie, colin and amy for making me feel better today. and mike of course. <3

i think i finally figured out what i want. what i need to do.

That empty space...isnt so empty right now. And angie, yes. It was just the stress talking.

Whats with all the hoes

2005-04-12T23:33:40Z

I fuckin hate hoes...

they're shady little bitches

yumm....STD's....not!!!!!!!!!

whatever, i guess i'm okay with being a blown out whore.

Anyways...i'm too pissed off to write anything of great importance. i will later though.

bloody tears upon my face

2005-04-12T03:28:18Z

I wont break my promise...but i need you to do something

let me cry and hold me til i've cried it all out

hug me and tell me you're going to be there

promise me that you will wont let me down

tell me i'm going to be okay

cuz i want to be

and i think i just know

almostfamous17 @ 2005-04-09T23:50:00

2005-04-10T03:58:35Z

Falling...<3

almostfamous17 @ 2005-04-09T14:28:00

2005-04-09T18:37:27Z

dammit angie...i know i know...."I TOLD YOU SO"

:D

Your Love Factor is 100%

You Are Totally In Love!

This is it, the real thing.

You are completely in love with your man.

And he's probably completely in love with you too.

Sit back and relax - you made it!

How In Love Are You? Take This Quiz :-)

Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

2 thumbs wayyy down

2005-04-09T15:55:39Z

Lately I've been wandering
Off the narrow path
You’ve given me so many things that I've never had
And all in all I know it's you that always pulls me through
If you reach deep inside you’ll see my heart is true

‘Cause I hate the way I feel tonight
And I know I need you in my life
Yes I hate the way I feel inside
And I promise to make the sacrifice

Okay, so me, jon, and mike go shopping last which was kinda interesting. I found this amazing jacket online, so when i went to the store i thought they didnt have it, but they did. DAMMIT! lol check it out--> http://www.abercrombie.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?catalogId=10901&storeId=10051&parentCatgroupId=12203&childCatgroupId=12275&categoryId=12275&productId=216842&langId=-1

Anyways, we also saw Sin City was unbelievable. 2 and a half hours i will NEVER get back. lol. Although i could have cared less. :)

almostfamous17 @ 2005-04-07T22:38:00

2005-04-08T02:51:26Z

Sometimes i wonder if things would have been different between us if you never would have got in that car?

If Dan was still here...you never messed up your legs...i miss you

I miss the old Adam, the fun loving guy who was always there, not the guy who told me i should do everyone a favor and kill myself. Not the guy who told me i was worthless, that Andrew was a lunatic, Christian was a queer, Chris was a loser...granted everyone makes mistakes and they werent perfect, but that doesnt mean i dont love them and miss them.

almostfamous17 @ 2005-04-06T23:14:00

2005-04-07T03:21:26Z

WOW

almostfamous17 @ 2005-04-06T18:03:00

2005-04-06T22:11:54Z

this is angie jacqui told me not to update but i dont care so hey whats going on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

almostfamous17 @ 2005-04-04T23:11:00

2005-04-05T03:16:46Z

OH MY GOD!!!!!

almostfamous17 @ 2005-04-04T15:20:00

2005-04-04T19:30:46Z

When I'm with him, i feel perfect. A feeling i had lost so long ago only to find it again in the most unlikely of places. I love this feeling and hope it never goes away.

Thanks

My heartstrings come undone

2005-04-03T14:54:07Z

I'm done...i swear to god i wont ever pick that up again.

I'm sorry

oooo weeee oooo i look just like buddy holly

2005-04-02T15:54:52Z

Yesterday was an odd one, i wont get into all the gory details but if you really want to know, ask me or mike. Ummm...worked last night which was actually pretty good, the day went by fast. Except i work 1-9 today which SUCKS. lol
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I just can’t look its killing me
And taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
But it’s just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
‘Cause I’m Mr Brightside
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
hmm...4 days guys??? The bets are now open..jk

<3

I want to die

2005-04-01T05:32:20Z

Harsh words & violent blows
Hidden secrets nobody knows
Eyes are open, hands are fisted
Deep inside I'm warped & twisted
So many tricks & so many lies
Too many whens & too many whys
Nobody's special, nobody's gifted
I'm just me, warped & twisted
Sleeping awake & choking on a dream
Listening loudly to a silent scream
Call my mind, the number's unlisted
Lost in someone so warped & twisted
On my knees, alive but dead
Look at the invisible blood I've bled
I'm not gone, my mind has drifted
Don't expect much, I'm warped & twisted
Burnt out, wasted, empty, & hollow
Today's just yesterday's tomorrow
The sun died out, the ashes sifted
I'm still here, warped & twisted

I am going straight to hell

2005-04-01T05:07:42Z

Today has been rather interesting...lol...i've had wayyy too much coffee and it is making me loopy like woah. I stole the colin bracelet "SUCCESS" ...hehe ...oh yea, and i am going to burn in hell for what im about to do.

</3

do u think ur cool?

2005-03-30T15:32:30Z

Hmm...had an interesting couple of days. Yesterday i worked alllll day, which wasnt so bad, but i was really sick, and then to top it off, i ate an entire bag of cough drops which made me feel even worse. After i got off, i went out with my aunt debi. We went to lakeside and she bought me a bunch of stuff for prom. YAY! I got some kick ass stilettos, a purse and the oh so sexy black gloves. I'm not gonna lie, they are super hot. lol. Then i went with mike to starbucks, and we talked...and guess what? We're going out! <3 weeeeee
lol. Once we left starbucks all sugared up, we went and sat in front of my house for 2 hours and just talked. it was nice. :)

Now im sick as hell, i can barely talk and i have to go minature golfing in a fwe, which is great *insert sarcasm* because im really bad.

Well...back to bed i go.

<3