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[28 Apr 2005|03:23pm] |
I have a new name...in 10 days i will delete this one off...so add me if you must its
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) only_a_kissxox
THANKS
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| Kisses make me weak in the knees |
[24 Apr 2005|03:41pm] |
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mood |
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 bouncy |
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music |
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System~Linkin Park |
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Things are so perfect right now. i wouldnt have this any other way. I at first thought i was making a mistake about the whole situation, but once i opened my eyes and was no longer blinded by the hell i thought i was living, i fell. Fell so hard i couldnt catch my breath. Its amazing how different my life has become now that you're gone.
This morning i woke up and put my Techno Cd on the stereo and danced around the house. NAKED!! just kidding lol. But seriously, i dont have to worry about how im going to cover my scars or hide the tears. Cuz theres none.
Im sorry to anyone who tried to help me and only got pulled under in the wave of blood, tears and regret. Its over now. For now at least.
So im just sitting here, watching mike, aww...hes so cute. :) and we are going to see Meet the Fockers at like 5...and yes! I know its already out on DVD, but its more fun in the theatre. Plus, theres no nagging mother around to pester me/us.
OKay....Im out. <3
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[20 Apr 2005|10:38pm] |
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mood |
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 BRRRRRRRR |
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music |
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Its raining men...lol |
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____Favorite____
1. gum: Juicy fruit
2. restaurant: Olive Garden
3. drink: Cherry Coke/java/margarita
4. season: summer
5. type of weather: Storms, i <3 storms
6. emotion: happy
7. thing to do on a half day: Sleep
8. late-night activity: movies
9. sport: hockey
10. city: idk
11. store: so many...Abercrombie and Fitch, Forever 21, American Eagle, Gadzooks, Aeropostale, Hollister, Hot Topic...
_____When was the last time you_____
12. cried: a few days ago
13. played a sport: tonight
14. laughed: a few hours ago
15. hugged someone: today
16. kissed someone: A few mins ago
17. felt depressed: yesterday
18. felt overworked: monday
19. faked sick: a few weeks ago
20. lied: i actually cried this morning, i stubbed my toe and it hurt like HELL
___What was the last_______
21. word you said: chandler
22. thing you ate: ice cream
23. song you listened to: All i've got-the used
24. last thing you drank: Pepsi
25. place you went to: dairy queen
26. movie you saw: sin city
27. movie you rented: closer
_______Who was the last person you_______
28. hugged?: mike
29. cried over: adam
31. danced with: chandler...lol
32. shared a secret with: chandler
33. had a sleepover with: hmm...kristen
34. called: mike
35. went to a movie with: mike and john.
36. saw: mike
36. had sex with: no one :(
37. were angry with: adam
38. couldn’t take your eyes off: mike
39. obsessed over: hmm...mike
_______Have you ever_______
40. danced in the rain: Yes
41. kissed someone: Yes
42. done drugs: ya..unfortunately
43. drank alcohol: Yes
44. partied 'til the sun came up: Yes
45. had a movie marathon: Yes
46. gone too far on a dare: yes I have
47. spun until you were immensely dizzy: yup
_______My life_______
49. name: Jaxx
50. gender: Female
51. month and date of birthday: June 14
52. relationship status: Im in one...<3
53. nationality: im a mutt
_______Play_______
55. i'm feeling: tired
56. i'm listening to: the used
57. i'm doing: talking on the computer
58. i'm talking to: your mom
59. i'm craving: :X
60. i'm thinking of: sleep
61. i'm hating: cold
_______Love_______
62. love is: crazy
63. my first love: Steve
64. my current love: Mike
65. love or lust: both i guess
66. best love song: "Everything" lifehouse
67. Possible 2be in love w/ more than one person at the same time: yea i guess
68. when love hurts: it kills
69. is there such thing as love at first sight?: yes
______Opposite/same sex_______
70. turn ons: eyes, back
71. turn offs: cockiness
72. do your parent's opinion on your gf/bf matter to you?: a lil
73. what kinda hairstyle are you into?: it doesnt matter that much
74. What is the sweetest thing a girl/guy can do for you?: im simple. i dont ask much, just to know they'll be there and know they love me
75. where do you go to meet new people?: everywhere but GRATIOT
76. are you picky: not really
_______Picky Picky_______
77. dog or cat: both
78. short or long hair: long *sniff*
79. sunshine or rain: rain
80. hugs or kisses: kiss
81. summer or winter: Summer
82. written letters or e-mails: written letters
83, nintendo or playstation: PS
84. car or motorcycle: car
85. house party or club: club
86. sing or dance: dance
87. freak or slow dance: Slow
_______Lately_______
88. How are you today? good...but muy cold
89. what pants are you wearing right now?: my bongo jeans
90. what shirt are you wearing right now? black tank top that says Give It To Me Rough, and is all ripped up...i stole it from Kristen
91. what does your hair look like at the moment: like a blond mop on my head
92. what song are you listening to right now? Blue and Yellow-the used
93. how is the weather right now? Dark and cold
94. who was last person you talked to on the phone? Mike
95. last dream i can remember? the one where mike cheated on me with angie
aahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.........B-O-R-E-D!!!!!!!
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[19 Apr 2005|06:23pm] |
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mood |
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 artistic |
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music |
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all that i've got |
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So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me
Off guard, red handed
Now I'm far from lonely
Asleep I still see you lying next to me
So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me I..
I need something else
Would someone please just give me
Hit me, knock me out
And let me go back to sleep
I can laugh
All I want inside I still am empty
So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me I...
I'll be just fine
Pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely
And it's all that I've got
I'll be just fine
Pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely
And it's all that I've got
I guess, I remember every glance you shot me
Un-harmed, I'm losing weight and some body heat
I squoze so hard
I stopped your heart from beating
So deep that I didn't even scream fuck me
I love this song...
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[19 Apr 2005|05:59pm] |
Things couldnt get any worse...im in "that" kind of mood right now and i dont want to be alone...
How did things ever get this far?
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| Can you tell im bored? |
[17 Apr 2005|11:05pm] |
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mood |
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 amused |
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music |
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buddy holly~weezer |
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Thirteen random things you like
01) Starbucks
02) Movies
03) Johnny Depp
04) Shopping
05) Photography
06) Chandler
07) Parties
08) My budz
09) Flowers
10) Music
11) My perfume
12) Dancing around the house
13) Food
Twelve movies
01) Blow
02) Req for a dream
03) Pulp Fiction
04) True Romance
05) The Crow
06) Closer
07) Sin City
08) Love Actually
09) Finding Neverland
10) The Replacements
11) The Matrix
12) Cruel Intentions
Eleven good bands/artists
01) Green Day
02) Blindside
03) Linkin Park
04) Crossfade
05) Sandstorm
06) Orgy
07) Nine Inch Nails
08) Mindless Self Indulgence
09) Bright Eyes
10) Deftones
11) Shinedown
Ten things about you ... physically
01) Ghetto ass
02) Blue eyes
03) braces (ew)
04) Short hair
05) scarred up
06) circus freak sized hands
07) Blond (for now)
08) Combination skin
09) weird back
10) i <3 my lips
Nine good friends
01) Mike
02) Laurie
03) Angie
04) Colin
05) Holly
06) Bekky
07) Rachael
08) Chris
09) Bree
Eight favorite foods/drinks
01) Pita chips
02) Margaritas
03) Starbucks
04) vanilla coke
05) Hummous
06) Italian food of any kind
07) Cheesy stuff
08) Oranges
Seven things you wear daily
01) Jeans of some kind
02) Contacts
03) Bra
04) Shoes
05) Shirt (i hope)
06) Cross chain
07) expression
Six things that annoy you
01) Odor
02) Country Music
03) People who puke
04) Small children
05) People who tell stories with no freakin point
06) Nino Salvaggios
Five things you touch everyday
01) myself (not like that..LOL)
02) phone
03) Chandler
04) Other people (again...not like that)
05) hmm...stuff
Four shows you watch
01) The OC
02) Degrassi
03) Family Guy
04) Nip/Tuck
Three celebrities you have a crush on
01) Adam Brody
02) Johnny Depp
03) Paul McCoy
Two people on LJ you have kissed
01) Mike
02) you all know...so i dont tell
One person you could spend the rest of your life with:
01) Since i can barely stand to spend the rest of my life with myself, i choose chandler to stay by my side...unless someone is willing. :)
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[16 Apr 2005|10:13am] |
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Sometimes i really amaze myself at my inability to make decisions. And to actually think upon them. AHhhhh...im an ass. Speaking of ass, my hair looks like it and it upsets me. Hmmm....there was no point to this...im out.
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[14 Apr 2005|10:41pm] |
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This is my one last chance to get it right
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| grind on me |
[13 Apr 2005|09:11pm] |
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mood |
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 horny |
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music |
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candy shop |
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"Baby...grind on me"...sorry thats been stuck in my head all day
i have had wayyy too much sugar for my own good and it makes me kinda loopy
hmm...retail therapy is awesome..."its not underwear..its FUNDERWEAR!!" lol, i'm such a fag sometimes. ahh...good times. Like when i poked myself in the eye with a french fry. :)
Well, i'm gonna go dance around the house is my new fun stuff...pictures may follow ;)
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| i think im drowning |
[12 Apr 2005|09:14pm] |
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mood |
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calm |
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music |
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cute boring love~blindside |
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God i'm so stressed right now. I hate this feeling. I cant sit still, cant focus, cant even think right. Time is going by so slow. The end of the year is almost here, which is a relief to some, but kind of a problem for me. I want to get out of here, i need to be out on my own. In only about 2 months, i'll be 18 (finally) and i'm sick of feeling like im 4.
...and today i was in one of those moods. That kind of mood where your skin crawls and your heart races and you feel like your sick to your stomach. That feeling i had when i used to cut. I didnt do it. So instead i just rollarbladed around, trying to clear my head. It helped alot, thankfully.
I dont know what i want. Im torn between what i used to have and what i have now. How many times do i have to screw up to get it right? i cant even screw up right.
Call me up if you want to know the details of the smackdown that occured with Paul and Adam last night. Cuz im still pretty pissed off about the whole thing, since the reason why andrew is dead i guess is my fault.
I have never had anyone make me feel so bad about myself. thanks adam.
My last session with the Dr. is this sunday, and i have copies of the letter for a few of you. Please dont hate me when you read it. Actually you dont even have to, because its a big load of nothing, you know, me feeling sorry for myself. hahaha! whatever.
thanks to angie, colin and amy for making me feel better today. and mike of course. <3
i think i finally figured out what i want. what i need to do.
That empty space...isnt so empty right now. And angie, yes. It was just the stress talking.
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| stolen from cooker |
[12 Apr 2005|09:00pm] |
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Tell her she's amazing. Tell her why she's amazing. Pick her up and pretend youre going to throw her; she'll scream and fight you, but secretly, she'll love it. Hold her hand. Tell her she looks beautiful. Introduce her to your friends as "The most amazing girl I know." Tell her stupid jokes, whatever it takes to make her laugh. Throw pebbles at her window at night. Surprise her. Do things that make her smile. Be spontaneous. When she starts yelling at you, kiss her. Let her fall asleep in your arms. Call her back. Sing to her, no matter how bad you are. Push her on swings. Give her piggy back rides. Stay up with her all night. Leave her little unexpected notes on the car or on her door, saying how much she means to you. Remember dates. And when you fall in love with her, tell her.
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| Whats with all the hoes |
[12 Apr 2005|07:19pm] |
I fuckin hate hoes...
they're shady little bitches
yumm....STD's....not!!!!!!!!!
whatever, i guess i'm okay with being a blown out whore.
Anyways...i'm too pissed off to write anything of great importance. i will later though.
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| bloody tears upon my face |
[11 Apr 2005|11:14pm] |
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mood |
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 make it stop |
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music |
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my heartstrings come undone |
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I wont break my promise...but i need you to do something
let me cry and hold me til i've cried it all out
hug me and tell me you're going to be there
promise me that you will wont let me down
tell me i'm going to be okay
cuz i want to be
and i think i just know
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[09 Apr 2005|11:50pm] |
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Falling...<3
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[09 Apr 2005|02:28pm] |
dammit angie...i know i know...."I TOLD YOU SO"
:D
( Read more... )
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[07 Apr 2005|10:38pm] |
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music |
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overrated~3 days grace |
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Sometimes i wonder if things would have been different between us if you never would have got in that car?
If Dan was still here...you never messed up your legs...i miss you
I miss the old Adam, the fun loving guy who was always there, not the guy who told me i should do everyone a favor and kill myself. Not the guy who told me i was worthless, that Andrew was a lunatic, Christian was a queer, Chris was a loser...granted everyone makes mistakes and they werent perfect, but that doesnt mean i dont love them and miss them.
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[06 Apr 2005|11:14pm] |
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WOW
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[06 Apr 2005|06:03pm] |
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mood |
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 curious |
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this is angie jacqui told me not to update but i dont care so hey whats going on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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[04 Apr 2005|11:11pm] |
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OH MY GOD!!!!!
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